embody these emotions deep inside my soul
by nikkoucat
Summary: Every character perceives a quality in which they bring to life. They see it, feel it, breathe it, live it.
1. Pride

**I do not own One Piece.**

* * *

Pain is not encased by the physical being.

Tremors from it's impact spread quickly like a fatal disease, infecting anything and everything in it's path. Soon, there's no distinction between where one started and another ended. This type of hurt cannot be fully understood nor can it be contained by any method.

* * *

" _You may trust me, I will keep my promise." Kuma raises Luffy off the rubble, "But in exchange... I will show you what Hell is like."_

 _A large, red-tinted bubble is pushed from his captain's body and forms into huge paw at least two times his height._

" _What I just deflected from his body, was his pain and his fatigue... If you wish to take his place, then naturally, you would have to take in all of this."_

" _However, it would be impossible for you to survive. You'll die."_

 _He steels himself at this statement, fistng his hands tight as he lays on the ground before the Shichibukai._

" _Just let me... Go to another spot..."_

* * *

This pain _stings_ and _burns _ and _**cuts** _ away at a soul until nothing is left behind.

* * *

 _And wihout hesitation, he thrusts his arms through the bubble._

* * *

It is the hopelessness - _the guilt_ \- that he feels when he is not enough to protect them.

* * *

" _So, you survived, Roronoa Zoro."_

 _Usopp is laying behind him on the ground -hewon'tletthembetouchedbythisman!- and he stares Kuma down, eyes primal in retrospect to the desperation he is feeling._

" _If you were to go on a vacation, where would you like to go?" He sees the hand as if it were an illusion, and as he's smacked away, the screams from his friends haunt him._

" _ZOOROOO!"_

* * *

The feelings he gets through flesh wounds are dull compared to the sharp words that dig at his soul, staring him down relentlessly in the form of crumpled paper.

* * *

 _Perona looks away from him and he should feel thankful, but all his focus is on the headline of the newspaper-_

 _FIRE FIST ACE KILLED AT WAR OF THE BEST_

 _A cold, heavy sensation bears down on his stomach, followed by a feeling of dread racing quickly through his body. Tears leak down his face and he can't think straight_

 _-whereisluffyishouldhavebeentherenononononopleaseitcantbe!-_

 _He's dully aware of Perona talking to him, her hands dropping the paper to shake at his shoulders, but the damage is done. He's stuck in this space, this never ending loop, words swimming in his vision_ _that he can no longer read_

 _-zoroitsgoingtobeokayzoroimgoingtofetchmihawkstayrightherealrightzoro-_

* * *

That is why Zoro will throw away his pride-

* * *

 _"Are you asking your enemy to train you?" Mihawk drones, "Shame on you."_

* * *

-for pain, is the new weight on his captain's shoulders and the heaviness in his eyes.

An unforgivable sin Zoro quietly keeps to himself.


	2. Lies

**Hello everyone! I'm back with the newest update! I'll try and keep posting every week, but please don't worry if a chapter is a little late :) I'm really enjoying writing now a days, which is a good thing since my major is Writing and Linguistics.**

 **Maybe I'll translate this into French? Let me know if you guys would like that!**

 **I do think I'm going to rewrite chapter one, it'll mostly be the same but with more background like this chapter.**

 **Anyways, enjoy!**

 **I do not own One Piece.**

* * *

There are many faces and names that make up their navigator.

She can flip personalities as easy as she flips their sails. Cold one minute and fidgety the next. Nami is as much a force to recon with as the winds she tames.

There's a wild kind of aspect that can been seen in her eyes just before a storm hits, when waves knock heavily against their boat.

It's hard for them to keep their balance when the rain spatters their vision and soaks through their clothes like it's nothing.

Even in the chaos, her voice is loud, firm and confident that she'll get everyone through this storm alive.

But-

Nami has played games before, to the point where most bore her. It's a sick kind of bitterness that reaches her when she scams.

She's been living the same day for years on end and it's _killing_ her.

Nami's maps cease to bring her joy. Handing over each one chips away a little more of her being.

 _-thatsmymasterpiecedonttouchityoufilthypirate-_

She learns to hide herself away. Fake smiles and laughs, acts of terror and lies to accompany them.

The person she sees in the mirror is a long way from that young girl who wanted to travel the world.

Now she travels, but the experience is torture at best.

The lies and treachery build up a wall around her, tightly masking what's left of her.

It's a deep hole she's dug herself and she will lay down in her grave when the time comes.

She's come to a standstill and her resolve is strong-

" _Hey! Come out to sea with me!"_

It's phrased as a statement, not a question.

" _You're the best navigator, so it makes sense!"_

The praise smothers her.

" _After all, who better to navigate with than the man who will become King of the Pirates!"_

That grin, that laugh!

It's all so annoying and Nami can hardly believe this idiot in front of her. Him, a boy barely older than herself, holding onto such childish dreams and-

" _I want to be the freest person in the whole world!"_

" _I want to make a map of the entire world!"_

It's said with such confidence, such ambition. In one move he's torn down years of careful wall crafting and is slowly cracking her shell.

There's a moment of panic before she squashes it down.

Disbelief washes through her easily and this one she lets run its course.

There's no such thing as genuine anymore.

At least not for her.

The days she spends traveling with them is odd. The first mate seems more concerned with sleeping than actual pirating and the boy-

She has no idea how he's survived this long out at sea with how carefree he is.

A captain is supposed to delegate his commands, his orders, and he's supposed to run a tight ship.

Each and every single one of these facts are contradicted by this enigma of a child. All of her expectations about life aboard a pirate ship are smashed to pieces.

 _-maybe-_

A small piece of hope settles back into place.

Nami has watched him pick up new crew-mates and make the most unlikely of friends. It's different seeing it from the outside point of view.

 _-wasitreallythateasy?-_

How can he inspire so many to follow him? What is it that draws us to him?

However-

All good things have an end.

When she drops the bomb she's been carrying behind their backs, Nami is not concerned that they might follow her.

 _-noonecouldeversurvivenoonewantsherhertheyonlywantmaps-_

Doubt is a well known friend that creeps in and hits past every insecurity she has, playing her like a violin.

It's only when she comes face to face with Zoro does she finally realize that she's been deluding herself this entire time.

" _I...care."_

Nami immediately freezes, this wasn't supposed to happen!

 _-nonononono!-_

So she pretends to kill Usopp as a final warning.

 _-pleaseleavefindsomeoneelse-_

Then she knows she's a hypocrite.

 _Arlong's laugh when she threatens him is amused, his eyes casting her aside as if she's just a child throwing a temper tantrum._

" _It wasn't my crew who took your money Nami," merciless, "I guess this just means your village will be in my care for a while longer, hmm?"_

It all boils down to anger and disbelief.

 _-howcouldhewehadadealadeal!-_

She cries and sobs, letting out years of frustration.

There is no hesitation when she lifts the knife up to her tattoo. All that's left is a desperate need to separate herself from them. For her to get away from it all as fast as possible.

What a pitiful sight she must make.

 _-ishouldhaveknownbetterimsostupidstupidstupid!-_

There's a distinct lack of surprise when she lifts her eyes to meet his.

" _Luffy...help me..."_

And behind him is his crew. They storm the park like no other.

When Nami arrives to see the destruction they've laid out, she's overcome with emotion.

These people, they want _me._

Then there are maps flying through the air, Arlong Park falling to rubble and that terrible, god forsaken room gone with it.

" _NAMI!"_

Luffy appears out of the wreckage, dirty and beat to hell, but his eyes seek out hers.

" _YOU ARE MY NAKAMA!"_

It is all she can do to just nod as she wipes the tears from her face.

Later, after the party and many months into their adventure, the crew can finally say that they know the real Nami.

The one who loves to wake with the sun and tend to her Mikan trees.

The one who cares so deeply for them that she blackmails their enemies with not a hint of regret, because they have been through hell and back again and nothing is going to come between them again.

For them, Nami will lie, cheat, and steal.

" _Minna...thank you!"_


End file.
